Relationship Counselling

Relationship Counselling

In all of life’s endeavours, those things that flourish and grow are those to which we give our attention. The more we attend to something and focus on it, the more it grows. If we nourish it by providing what it needs, it will flourish. An obvious example of this is a garden, but the same can be said for a business, a community, a home or a relationship.

The more we attend to our relationships and nurture them, the more they grow and flourish. Of course, we could attend to our relationships in a negative way, by focusing on what’s wrong, adding more of what hurts (criticism, blame, distancing, defensiveness, contempt) and chances are we will see more of what we don’t want. But if we tend to the relationship, nourish it with what it needs and, like weeding the garden, carefully removing what is harmful, then chances are, like the well-tended garden, the relationship with flourish.

The funny thing is, whilst most of us acknowledge how important our relationships are, we don’t tend to them nearly as much as we could. We seem to think that, because we have found someone who is the right fit for us, because things feel so good in the beginning and because we care so deeply for each other, the relationship will always be good and we will work through any issues that come along. The divorce rate suggests something different.

Relationships need our attention, our care, and sometimes some extra help. Couples counselling, which I prefer to think of as relationship coaching, can help if you have come to a point in your relationship where you feel so disconnected, or so caught in a negative pattern, you recognize the need for change.

If you feel you have drifted apart from each other, if your partner doesn’t seem to understand you, if there is constant tension in the relationship, or more negative interactions than positive ones, then couples counselling can help. Couples counselling (relationship counselling) can help you resolve conflict, improve communication, develop understanding, strengthen your emotional connection and build or rebuild a loving, supportive and harmonious relationship.

Relationship counselling can also help those couples who are deciding whether or not to stay together. Some couples approach counselling with uncertainty about their commitment moving forward. The relationship may feel like it has run its course, partners may feel like they are moving in different directions, or maybe there is just too much water under the bridge. Couples Counselling (Relationship counselling) can help couples determine whether or not they want to rebuild their relationship or separate. Couples counselling will support couples as they make this decision and support them to separate amicably, avoiding the cost of mediation and hefty legal fees.

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